[He lets go of a breath he didn't know he was holding. His brother didn't recognize anyone in the end, but Huaisang knows, knows without needing any proof or evidence, that he'd heard him call for him.
He knows him. He needs to trust in that.]
I'm not sure how to explain it. [Not without sounding absolutely mad.
Well. At least that would make two of them. The two mad Nie brothers, how funny.]
I died, and was brought to this place to make amends for my actions. I'm speaking to you now through some fluke, some thin veil between worlds that was punctured. [Juuuuust gonna keep going there. Don't read too much into it, Mingjue.] But da-ge, I don't know how much time we have -- I need you to listen to me.
[ Sometimes, Nie Mingjue can sit silently and listen. It's more and more rare these days, but it still happens. He knows his time is short, and he has heavy suspicions on who is behind it. Just no proof that would satisfy others.
His lips thin and fury lashes out at his brother stating he dies. No. Mingjue should be dead, not Huaisang. Not his little brother. He's worked far too hard for that ending, and he almost leaps to his feet again in denial when -
Huaisang tells him there might be very little time and there's something he has to tell him. The effort to not lash out is a visible thing, heavy in the air that misses something in this not being a face to face meeting.
Finally he nods, short and sharply for Huaisang to continue. If he speaks, he knows he'll yell again. And if it's important, and his brother wouldn't speak to him like this if it wasn't, then there is likely not enough time to give in to his temper. ]
[He holds back a wince. His brother is already so close to a full and final qi deviation; he's almost jumping out of his own skin.
He isn't so entangled in his own machinations that he doesn't have perspective in this moment. Coming from him, someone who was bought by all the little trinkets and sweet, supportive words, this is bound to be jarring.]
I need you to turn Jin Guangyao away from you for good. Don't let him play cleansing for you. You're being poisoned by a few clever changes in the music.
You'll die, da-ge, far sooner than you're meant to.
[Below the screen his hands are twisting around his fan as though it was Jin Guangyao's neck. He's furious, traumatized, so desperately sad. His brother is right there, but he's a world away.
If he saves him now, he'll save him for a different Huaisang.]
Xichen doesn't know. At least, I don't think he does, but I wouldn't trust him either. Don't trust anyone but me. [He scoffs and snaps his fan back open, annoyance getting the better of him.] And tell me about the sabers! I can handle it!
Well then. From someone who had clung to Jin Guangyao, hung on his every word and treasured all those ridiculous gifts...This is interesting. And his brother keeps talking.
Baxia shakes angrily as if in agreement, but he ignores his saber. ]
So it's through the music he's doing it.
[ He'd been wondering.
He raises a brow at being told not to trust Xichen. Again, from this particular man, it's an interesting thing. But he doesn't argue...that point. He knows his sworn brother's weaknesses. Xichen's heart is too soft, especially when it comes to Guangyao.
Then his brother huffs and that damned fan snaps open with annoyance as that rare spark lashes unhappily at him. Mingjue bristles in return. ]
[There's a glint behind his eyes -- this Huaisang is the clan leader. He'd plotted and schemed in secret but kept the Nie Clan afloat through his theatrics, and then when it was all said and done and the cultivation world upended, pushed it to flourish through his own merits.
He's strong and he's confident, and he adores his brother. He never wanted to find this strength on his own.]
Please. We're brothers, there's nothing we can't handle together. Don't die and leave me in misery, wondering what I could have done to spare your agony.
[Because it was agony. Mingjue died in a way that still haunts his dreams.]
You don't need to follow our ancestors to an early grave. It's the burden we're born into, but butchers or not we should be given the choice to live.
[ There's a part of him that recognizes that strength of another clan leader. It almost has him to his feet, but this time to storm out to grab his brother and do precisely what this older version bids.
But he still has control over himself, and so he stays put. There's a change in this plea from how Huaisang usually begs him for things. This is the man he'd always hoped his brother would become, but feared impossible because he has no interest in working on his saber cultivation.
And he knows that this brother has suffered through his death. Which means every minute he can stand to sit and speak with him might help this Huaisang bear anything ahead with a little more ease. For that, he'll stomp on his temper and sit. ]
And live I would. [ He allows gruffly after a few moments' silence. ]
What else would you have me do? I have heard of no way to stem this burden. I am who and what I am, A-Sang. I can live no other way.
You did so much for me. I always suspected the weight was heavy on your shoulders, overwhelming to a weaker man, but when I inherited your position what I experienced—
[He’s rambling, and he hates it. He’s always so careful, but all he wants to do is spill his guts now that his da-ge is here and alive.
The last time he did this was when he’d found Mingjue’s head. He’d talked and talked to his head, talked as he sewed him back together, and wept and screamed and held him close — he wants to do that now.]
Your burden is our burden. I only ask you share it with me. Let me care for you. There’s so much unknown magic in the world, so much innovation! The libraries of our allies are vast, so let me do what I do best.
[Send that young Nie Huaisang out to solve the problem! Huaisang’s schemes were never his sole focus; he’s uncovered pieces of a solution of the years. Young Huaisang would just need to piece it together, and he knows himself. He’d do anything for Mingjue.]
[ His lips thin at that painful laugh. He'd never wanted Huaisang to know this pain, however expected. Then his brother rambles about his strength. how he'd carried such a heavy burden alone. That not just anyone could manage.
He's about to scoff and interrupt Huaisang when his brother stops himself. He recognizes how hard it's been for his brother.
Mingjue starts to bristle at the idea he needs to be taken care of - but it's true. And he hates the fact he needs at least some care. The sect doctors hate treating him because he's their worst patient. It doesn't, of course, keep them from fussing over him and doing their job. His fingers drum angrily on the table, probably making his image shake.
Then his brother goes and says that. Leaving him speechless for a moment before he huffs out a breath. ]
A-Sang...I will keep your advice in mind. This damn thing doesn't let me do much for you there, but as long as it allows us to speak, we will maintain it.
[Yes, however long he has, he’ll take advantage of it. Soon the Barge will be back to its version of normal and his brother will be dead once more.]
If you can’t — I’ll still find a way. [He wipes his face on the back of his hand. These tears are different than the weaponized ones; it’s sorrow, plain and simple.]
I was trying to deal with the family tomb when I died. I’d gotten so close to figuring out a way to date the hunger of the sabers.
[ Not tears as a sign of weakness, he can recognize that much. So he says nothing about them, only wishes he could be there in person to support his brother.
His eyes close when Huaisang tells him how he died, fingers clench painfully on wood. ]
[That trip to the tombs — he’d hated every time he had to go back, but that was before he was leader of the Nie. Before it was his burden and his burden alone.]
I tell them now, Da-ge. Our disciples. I offer them a choice. Cultivate with a saber and take the risk that comes with our strength, or choose a different path.
[The struggle between filial responsibility and responsibility to their disciples had always been a struggle for Huaisang. In the end he chose to protect the lives of the living — wasn’t that why their ancestors chose their cultivation path to begin with?]
I hate that you didn’t get to choose. I don’t care if that disappoints our ancestors, they’re not the ones who had to watch you cry bloody tears.
[ He grumbles unintelligibly for a moment, then glares mildly at his brother to make a point. ]
People who are intelligent and stubborn to do what needs done.
You got revenge as is right. Did you destroy our sect? Our people? I think not, A-Sang. I believe you did enough so that going forward, people can move on better.
[Huaisang doesn’t feel an iota of guilt for what he did, not one bit, but the thought of telling Mingjue…
They’re more alike than people might think. Stubbornness for one, a sense of justice. Huaisang’s moral compass is just a little bit more skewed.]
I figured it out almost right away, that he was responsible. I remembered when I played Cleansing to calm you and you’d — [Slaughtered poor Nie Zonghui. He doesn’t say this. His poor Da-ge had wept so bitterly for the lives lost then.] I remembered what happened, how you got worse.
I bid my time. I acted like a fool. Worse — like I couldn’t do anything at all for myself. And I plotted, and schemed, and I found a piece of you. Your body had gone missing, and I searched the very day you died until years later I finally found a single piece - your arm.
I knew I couldn’t suppress or exorcise the resentful energy coming off of you, so I guided a different bastard son of Jin Guangshan to give his body over to Wei Wuxian’s soul. Your arm slaughtered the Mo family…I may have thrown it into the village to bait Wei, but I knew he wouldn’t be able to resist figuring out who the arm belonged to.
[Not his brother’s favorite person, buuuuut ends justify the means and all.]
I wanted the world to burn, Da-ge. So I set everything in motion to expose your killer and find the rest of your body. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji followed every lead I planted, every hint I dropped, every little crumb I threw them.
Don't blame yourself for playing a skewed Cleansing. [ Most important to him is that his brother doesn't blame himself for not knowing.
But then he listens. While he doesn't like how his brother had used his arm to get things started, or that Huaisang had manipulated someone into such a sacrifice to bring Wei Wuxian back to life. Just because he doesn't like that man doesn't mean he can't see the benefit of having done so for revenge.
His beloved brother, who'd wanted to burn the world. To cleanse it, in a way. ]
I do not take back my words. You did what you had to for the better of our people. In war, deaths are expected on all sides involved.
[For the first time in what feels like forever, Huaisang can feel himself smiling. Really smiling. Tears blur his vision but it doesn't matter, his brother thinks he did well!
His brother thinks he did well.]
I braided your hair.
[He doesn't know why he thinks to say it, but it seems important.
The mental image is also something, Mingjue's severed head in his lap, Huaisang meticulously putting the signature Nie braids back into his long hair.]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2023-08-15 01:49 am (UTC)[He lets go of a breath he didn't know he was holding. His brother didn't recognize anyone in the end, but Huaisang knows, knows without needing any proof or evidence, that he'd heard him call for him.
He knows him. He needs to trust in that.]
I'm not sure how to explain it. [Not without sounding absolutely mad.
Well. At least that would make two of them. The two mad Nie brothers, how funny.]
I died, and was brought to this place to make amends for my actions. I'm speaking to you now through some fluke, some thin veil between worlds that was punctured. [Juuuuust gonna keep going there. Don't read too much into it, Mingjue.] But da-ge, I don't know how much time we have -- I need you to listen to me.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-15 02:03 am (UTC)His lips thin and fury lashes out at his brother stating he dies. No. Mingjue should be dead, not Huaisang. Not his little brother. He's worked far too hard for that ending, and he almost leaps to his feet again in denial when -
Huaisang tells him there might be very little time and there's something he has to tell him. The effort to not lash out is a visible thing, heavy in the air that misses something in this not being a face to face meeting.
Finally he nods, short and sharply for Huaisang to continue. If he speaks, he knows he'll yell again. And if it's important, and his brother wouldn't speak to him like this if it wasn't, then there is likely not enough time to give in to his temper. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-08-15 02:36 am (UTC)He isn't so entangled in his own machinations that he doesn't have perspective in this moment. Coming from him, someone who was bought by all the little trinkets and sweet, supportive words, this is bound to be jarring.]
I need you to turn Jin Guangyao away from you for good. Don't let him play cleansing for you. You're being poisoned by a few clever changes in the music.
You'll die, da-ge, far sooner than you're meant to.
[Below the screen his hands are twisting around his fan as though it was Jin Guangyao's neck. He's furious, traumatized, so desperately sad. His brother is right there, but he's a world away.
If he saves him now, he'll save him for a different Huaisang.]
Xichen doesn't know. At least, I don't think he does, but I wouldn't trust him either. Don't trust anyone but me. [He scoffs and snaps his fan back open, annoyance getting the better of him.] And tell me about the sabers! I can handle it!
no subject
Date: 2023-08-15 02:48 am (UTC)Well then. From someone who had clung to Jin Guangyao, hung on his every word and treasured all those ridiculous gifts...This is interesting. And his brother keeps talking.
Baxia shakes angrily as if in agreement, but he ignores his saber. ]
So it's through the music he's doing it.
[ He'd been wondering.
He raises a brow at being told not to trust Xichen. Again, from this particular man, it's an interesting thing. But he doesn't argue...that point. He knows his sworn brother's weaknesses. Xichen's heart is too soft, especially when it comes to Guangyao.
Then his brother huffs and that damned fan snaps open with annoyance as that rare spark lashes unhappily at him. Mingjue bristles in return. ]
I will when I must, A-Sang.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-15 03:03 am (UTC)[There's a glint behind his eyes -- this Huaisang is the clan leader. He'd plotted and schemed in secret but kept the Nie Clan afloat through his theatrics, and then when it was all said and done and the cultivation world upended, pushed it to flourish through his own merits.
He's strong and he's confident, and he adores his brother. He never wanted to find this strength on his own.]
Please. We're brothers, there's nothing we can't handle together. Don't die and leave me in misery, wondering what I could have done to spare your agony.
[Because it was agony. Mingjue died in a way that still haunts his dreams.]
You don't need to follow our ancestors to an early grave. It's the burden we're born into, but butchers or not we should be given the choice to live.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-15 03:19 am (UTC)But he still has control over himself, and so he stays put. There's a change in this plea from how Huaisang usually begs him for things. This is the man he'd always hoped his brother would become, but feared impossible because he has no interest in working on his saber cultivation.
And he knows that this brother has suffered through his death. Which means every minute he can stand to sit and speak with him might help this Huaisang bear anything ahead with a little more ease. For that, he'll stomp on his temper and sit. ]
And live I would. [ He allows gruffly after a few moments' silence. ]
What else would you have me do? I have heard of no way to stem this burden. I am who and what I am, A-Sang. I can live no other way.
[ Not even for his beloved brother. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-08-15 11:07 am (UTC)He laughs quietly, pained.]
You did so much for me. I always suspected the weight was heavy on your shoulders, overwhelming to a weaker man, but when I inherited your position what I experienced—
[He’s rambling, and he hates it. He’s always so careful, but all he wants to do is spill his guts now that his da-ge is here and alive.
The last time he did this was when he’d found Mingjue’s head. He’d talked and talked to his head, talked as he sewed him back together, and wept and screamed and held him close — he wants to do that now.]
Your burden is our burden. I only ask you share it with me. Let me care for you. There’s so much unknown magic in the world, so much innovation! The libraries of our allies are vast, so let me do what I do best.
[Send that young Nie Huaisang out to solve the problem! Huaisang’s schemes were never his sole focus; he’s uncovered pieces of a solution of the years. Young Huaisang would just need to piece it together, and he knows himself. He’d do anything for Mingjue.]
I miss you so much, Da-ge.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-17 04:43 am (UTC)He's about to scoff and interrupt Huaisang when his brother stops himself. He recognizes how hard it's been for his brother.
Mingjue starts to bristle at the idea he needs to be taken care of - but it's true. And he hates the fact he needs at least some care. The sect doctors hate treating him because he's their worst patient. It doesn't, of course, keep them from fussing over him and doing their job. His fingers drum angrily on the table, probably making his image shake.
Then his brother goes and says that. Leaving him speechless for a moment before he huffs out a breath. ]
A-Sang...I will keep your advice in mind. This damn thing doesn't let me do much for you there, but as long as it allows us to speak, we will maintain it.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-17 11:21 am (UTC)If you can’t — I’ll still find a way. [He wipes his face on the back of his hand. These tears are different than the weaponized ones; it’s sorrow, plain and simple.]
I was trying to deal with the family tomb when I died. I’d gotten so close to figuring out a way to date the hunger of the sabers.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-17 06:31 pm (UTC)[ Not tears as a sign of weakness, he can recognize that much. So he says nothing about them, only wishes he could be there in person to support his brother.
His eyes close when Huaisang tells him how he died, fingers clench painfully on wood. ]
What would that accomplish?
Whoops that should have said ‘sate’, thanks phone!
Date: 2023-08-17 07:20 pm (UTC)When did Father tell you about the sabers? When did you learn our cultivation path was poison?
lol autocorrect is naughty
Date: 2023-08-17 07:26 pm (UTC)When I discovered part of it myself. It wasn't long until that damned Night Hunt with the Wens, but he told me then about our ancestors' tomb.
[ The same one they'd fallen into. Then it was Huaisang who got them out. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-08-17 07:36 pm (UTC)I tell them now, Da-ge. Our disciples. I offer them a choice. Cultivate with a saber and take the risk that comes with our strength, or choose a different path.
[The struggle between filial responsibility and responsibility to their disciples had always been a struggle for Huaisang. In the end he chose to protect the lives of the living — wasn’t that why their ancestors chose their cultivation path to begin with?]
I hate that you didn’t get to choose. I don’t care if that disappoints our ancestors, they’re not the ones who had to watch you cry bloody tears.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-17 07:50 pm (UTC)But he shakes his head, sharply. ]
I would still have chosen to cultivate with the saber. That has always been my plan in life, to protect our people with my strength.
[ However. The Wen sect is essentially gone now. ]
But that strength isn't so badly needed now. Our people need those like you.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-17 08:34 pm (UTC)People like me. [Vicious little liars, that’s him.]
I took my revenge. I destroyed everything. Everything. It’s all wiped clean now.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-17 08:38 pm (UTC)People who are intelligent and stubborn to do what needs done.
You got revenge as is right. Did you destroy our sect? Our people? I think not, A-Sang. I believe you did enough so that going forward, people can move on better.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-17 10:27 pm (UTC)You don’t know what I did.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-17 10:58 pm (UTC)[ He's not above throwing Huaisang's words back at him if necessary. But he doesn't say it just yet. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-08-17 11:21 pm (UTC)They’re more alike than people might think. Stubbornness for one, a sense of justice. Huaisang’s moral compass is just a little bit more skewed.]
I figured it out almost right away, that he was responsible. I remembered when I played Cleansing to calm you and you’d — [Slaughtered poor Nie Zonghui. He doesn’t say this. His poor Da-ge had wept so bitterly for the lives lost then.] I remembered what happened, how you got worse.
I bid my time. I acted like a fool. Worse — like I couldn’t do anything at all for myself. And I plotted, and schemed, and I found a piece of you. Your body had gone missing, and I searched the very day you died until years later I finally found a single piece - your arm.
I knew I couldn’t suppress or exorcise the resentful energy coming off of you, so I guided a different bastard son of Jin Guangshan to give his body over to Wei Wuxian’s soul. Your arm slaughtered the Mo family…I may have thrown it into the village to bait Wei, but I knew he wouldn’t be able to resist figuring out who the arm belonged to.
[Not his brother’s favorite person, buuuuut ends justify the means and all.]
I wanted the world to burn, Da-ge. So I set everything in motion to expose your killer and find the rest of your body. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji followed every lead I planted, every hint I dropped, every little crumb I threw them.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-17 11:47 pm (UTC)But then he listens. While he doesn't like how his brother had used his arm to get things started, or that Huaisang had manipulated someone into such a sacrifice to bring Wei Wuxian back to life. Just because he doesn't like that man doesn't mean he can't see the benefit of having done so for revenge.
His beloved brother, who'd wanted to burn the world. To cleanse it, in a way. ]
I do not take back my words. You did what you had to for the better of our people. In war, deaths are expected on all sides involved.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-18 12:25 am (UTC)He dips his head softly.]
He had your head in his trophy room. He had to die.
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Date: 2023-08-18 12:38 am (UTC)Mingjue closes his eyes at that detail. ]
But you found all parts of my body and put me back together. Exposed him and dealt with his end.
[ Reopening his eyes, he stares hard at his brother. ]
You did well.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-18 01:12 am (UTC)His brother thinks he did well.]
I braided your hair.
[He doesn't know why he thinks to say it, but it seems important.
The mental image is also something, Mingjue's severed head in his lap, Huaisang meticulously putting the signature Nie braids back into his long hair.]
no subject
Date: 2023-08-18 01:41 am (UTC)The odd comment suddenly brings a grin to his lips. Ridiculous, and yet so very Nie. ]
I was going to ask if you had.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-18 02:15 am (UTC)[Even if his brother was just a shell of himself, he was still his brother. If he was going to put him in a tomb he needed to look like a Nie.
It's so good to see him smile.]
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