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[threedontknows]

 

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[creeksidealtarboy]

He gives a strong push on the door as an answer.

"Hey. That - that ain't what I came here for."

[threedontknows]

The push catches Huaisang by surprise and he stumbles back, quickly gathering up his loose robes to maintain some level of dignity.

"Then why are you here?"

[creeksidealtarboy]

He walks in and slams the door behind him, arms folded.

"How much fun did you have?"

[threedontknows]

He doesn’t want to answer him, not when it’s such obvious bait. He glares back at him with a scowl.

“What I do doesn’t concern you.”

[creeksidealtarboy]

"Yeah? Don't it?"

He steps closer. "You know I fucking warned you not to. You knew what I'd fucking do."

He is cold as he says it, a void of emotion, of empathy.

"You know why I said it?"

[threedontknows]

He’d kill him, and Huaisang knew he wasn’t bluffing.

“No, tell me,” he says, equally as cold. As far as he’s concern Aaron had forfeited any right he had to comment on his life the second he denied that they were ever together.

[creeksidealtarboy]

He leans back against the door. "Because I was gonna kill you and I wanted you to know it."

But Aaron doesn't know if that's what he wants now.

No.

He's sure that it isn't.

"Because you fucking hurt me. And yeah, I guess I deserved it, but you went right for the bad shit."

[threedontknows]

Was. Was?

He looks at him skeptically.

"You hurt me first. You hurt me worst."

[creeksidealtarboy]

He shakes his head, looking over Huaisang's shoulder, away from his face.

"You sprung this shit on me without ever talking to me about it! I don't - I don't have a great record with people thinking I'm anything more than something to fuck, alright. I didn't know what the fuck you were talking about. It - scared me."

[threedontknows]

Huaisang grunts in frustration.

"We were giving each other gifts! I painted you! We've spent long nights talking, just holding each other -- I don't understand how any of it was a surprise. And then to say that we weren't even together, despite the fact that we nearly went crazy when we weren't allowed to speak..."

He frowns at him and turns away. "You can be frightened, but you don't get to be cruel."

[creeksidealtarboy]

He's quiet for a long moment, glaring at that same spot. "I wasn't trying to be cruel. I said that shit and - it's all fucked, man. It really is. And then you went and made that whole post."

He tears his fingers through his hair. "So you don't get to call me cruel when you were doing the same damn thing."

But this isn't what Aaron wants. He doesn't want to fight with him and waste the moments that they have together. Huaisang could disappear forever, lost to the universe. He could fall into a coma. He could do any number of things, and Aaron knows he would regret this moment forever.

[threedontknows]

"I told you what I would do, and you did the same."

He doesn't see how what he'd done was any worse than being told that he was in no way significant to him. Aaron was frightened, he could accept that, but then he'd remained possessive. He couldn't have it both ways.

"Let's get this over with."

Still refusing to look at Aaron directly, Huaisang kneels onto the floor and pulls his hair to one side, exposing the back of his neck to him. He closes his eyes and twists his fingers into his robes, waiting for retribution to come.

[creeksidealtarboy]

Aaron swallows hard, then when he realizes what Huaisang is doing, he physically recoils against the door. It's not what he wants at all. This is horrifying. Terrifying.

He can imagine it still, but it's a terrible, twisted vision.

Instead, he kneels down in front of him. "I'm not going to kill you," he mutters. "I don't think I could, even if I really wanted to. And I don't - want to."

[threedontknows]

He hears the thud of Aaron hitting the door and grits his teeth in anticipation. He waits a heartbeat, another, and then Aaron speaks.

Huaisang opens his eyes slowly, blinking back a few tears.

"You may as well," he whispers, hands still pulling at his robes. "I felt so hollow when you rejected me."

[creeksidealtarboy]

"I didn't - it wasn't a rejection. Not from my side, at least. I just - I'm shit at all this. I don't know how to be in a relationship, man. It was easy when I could say we was just friends, because I know how to do that."

He huffs out a bitter laugh.

[threedontknows]

He can't argue against that; Aaron clearly is terrible at this, and Huaisang's beginning to realize he might be too. He's kept people at arm's length for so long -- all he needed was a small excuse and he went running.

"It felt like one to me. A very decided one. You couldn't even tell me you cared...but you do. Don't you?"

[creeksidealtarboy]

"Of course I do," he snorts. "I care about you and god, I probably love you, too. I don't know. Feelings and shit like that is real hard for me to figure out. I'm kinda broken. But - I do know that I want to be with you. I want to try it for real and proper, if you - you still want to."

[threedontknows]

It’s not as though Huaisang didn’t know Aaron was broken. Aaron, who screamed in the middle of the night and built himself a separate personality, was definitely fucked up beyond measure. But he thought — he thought they were fucked up together.

“I do,” he says softly, as though afraid to say it out loud. “I…I care so much about you. I’m not good at this either, at least being my true self without any walls.”

[creeksidealtarboy]

Aaron reaches out and moves Huaisang's hair back over his neck. "I ain't gonna hurt you. I mean...i aint gonna hurt you again. I hurt a couple of people the other day and that was - fucking exhausting."

He meets his face. "You still got my bracelet?"

[threedontknows]

He nods — the bracelet’s hidden underneath one of his floorboards.

“Did you hurt people because of me?”

[creeksidealtarboy]

"No," he answers. "Because I thought if I hurt other people, maybe I could just - shut you out. Worked before."

[threedontknows]

Huaisang looks down at hands, now reddened from where he’s been twisting and worrying at them.

“How many did you hurt?”

[creeksidealtarboy]

"Two," he sighs. Astarion doesn't count.

"Why all the questions, huh. It don't matter."

[threedontknows]

"It matters. All these people we dragged into our mess--"

Aaron hurt two, but he'd potentially hurt...oh, it's an embarrassing amount.

Huaisang climbs to his feet and goes to find a decent set of robes to put on inside the ones he'd been sleeping in.

[creeksidealtarboy]

He sits back with a snort. "Yeah, well, we ain't usually that sloppy."

He doesn't ask again about the people Huaisang slept with. He doesn't want to know.