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[threedontknows]

 

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[creeksidealtarboy]

"Might be something about art here," he muses, moving closer.

[threedontknows]

Huaisang raises his hand up to the stacks and casually runs his fingers along the spines of the books. "Sculpture, yes, pottery. I adore pottery."

He turns slightly, back pressing against the books as he grabs Aaron by the shirt to drag him closer.

[creeksidealtarboy]

Aaron stifles a giggle as he pulls him close. This, he says as he pulls him into a kiss, is what he's missed. This easy way of being with him. How he never pushes. How everything is so fucking fun.

The ball of tension in his chest eases.

[threedontknows]

He melts against him. He just seems to fit into his arms so perfectly, like a missing piece of himself he's finally found. He slides his arms around Aaron neck and holds on as he kisses him again, still just playful and light with each touch.

[creeksidealtarboy]

Aaron pulls back when he thinks he hears footsteps, ducking his head and laughing softly. "We're gonna get caught and then they're gonna kick us out of the library. Wanna come back to my cabin?"

[threedontknows]

“I don’t mind being caught,” Huaisang says, pushing his fingers through the shortened hair at the back of his head. “Not with you. But I do mind being thrown out of the library, I like this place too much for that.”

[creeksidealtarboy]

Aaron snorts. "You didn't answer the question."

[threedontknows]

"Yes," he answers breathlessly, standing on tiptoes to pull him into another kiss. "Yes, I do."

[creeksidealtarboy]

Aaron takes his hand and leads him back, out of the library. Who fucking cares about books? He's finally feeling himself again. He's not trying to manipulate him, he's not trying to make him happy, he's just with him and wants him happy because - fuck.

He loves him. And Huaisang loves him.

[threedontknows]

Huaisang keeps Aaron's hand in his, not willing to let go even for a moment, even with all the twists and turns of the library and then through the corridors of the Barge.

Not willing to let go unless Aaron needs to, of course. If Aaron isn't comfortable yet -- that's one part of taking this whole thing slowly again.

Although they're not going slowly now, are they? Huaisang laughs and slides his arm around Aaron's waist to walk almost hip-to-hip with him. He occasionally looks up at him with wide, adoring eyes.

[creeksidealtarboy]

He leads him back to his cabin and, once the door is closed, leans down to kiss him. He didn't miss those looks, those eyes. They only made him want him more.

"You alright?" he mutters softly. "With - this? Cuz I want you to stay tonight."

[threedontknows]

He reaches up to take Aaron's face into his hands, pressing another kiss to his lips to preface his answer. "I am. Are you?"

He has him now, and despite how he'd initially felt when Aaron had come to him, he really doesn't want to let go of what they'd built together.

[creeksidealtarboy]

"Yeah," he answers, finding the word easy to say. Easier than he thought, at least.

[threedontknows]

Huaisang traces sweetly along Aaron's cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. "Are you sure? You can always tell me to stop or to slow down, always."

[creeksidealtarboy]

And this is precisely why Aaron has fallen for him so deeply. He leans into his touch.

"Nah, I'm alright. But uh...we still taking it slow?"

[threedontknows]

Slow, so he's figured so far, means being careful about labels and what they ask of each other. He nods gently and pulls him down, twisting his head gently at the last moment to kiss underneath his ear. "I wasn't going to say anything that might make you uncomfortable. I thought that was slow. Correct me if I'm wrong."

[creeksidealtarboy]

He pulls away, automatically tensing for disappointment or chastisement, even though he's pretty sure it won't come.

"I thought slow meant - slow. You know. Starting over."

[threedontknows]

He should have been specific. He lets him pull away, but is soft when he searches his face.

"We don't have to sleep together. I want to, but I won't push it. I assumed going slow meant developing our attachment more carefully, and with less...designation. I won't try to put anything on you that you aren't ready for, but I also don't want to be with anyone else."

[creeksidealtarboy]

"Look, I don't - " He pauses, sitting back on his bed, but taking his hand. It feels good to stop. He feels - more in control. He sits up a little straighter.

"You made it seem like you didn't want that. Like I had to fucking earn everything back. And yeah, I deserved it for being an asshole, but - " He falters. "You hurt me, too. And I figured you'd just do it again."

[threedontknows]

He’d done what he’d done to hurt him, to make him jealous and see what he was missing, but he hadn’t realized the extent of how much he’d wounded him.

Huaisang lets out a slightly gutted exhale.

Just seeing Aaron like that — he’d really, really hurt him, and hadn’t even realized.

He wrings his hands slightly. “I was being petty,” he admits. “I was embarrassed by how you reacted to the gift. I knew you weren’t entirely comfortable with it all, but I thought you were comfortable with me and us, and when you reacted like that I…”

Huaisang shakes his head a little and throws his hands into the air briefly. “I reacted like I always do, disproportionate! Wanting to make you crawl back to me! But I realize now…I can see now that I was being unfair to you.” He looks away, eyebrows furrowing as it finally occurs to him what he’d done. “I hurt you. I’m so sorry, Aaron. I didn’t mean I wanted you to have to crawl through hoops for me. You don’t deserve that.”

He still loves him.

[creeksidealtarboy]

Aaron, in his entire life, has never had someone apologize to him like this. Not for hurting him. And as much as he desperately wanted it, he doesn't know what to do with it.

"I wanted you to apologize, but I didn't tell you. I was just gonna be angry and resentful about it cuz A-Sang...that really fucking hurts you're so goddamn good at it because I told you all my shit and you knew just what the worst thing would be."

[threedontknows]

He only wishes that he hadn't heard such a precious endearment during such a horrible moment. He frowns softly and sits beside him, though keeps a careful enough distance to not inadvertently brush against him.

"I did it on purpose." He knew he'd be furious, and initially he'd just wanted to get a reaction from him. He'd been so heartbroken, he wanted Aaron to hurt and realize who he'd just thrown away like he was nothing.

"Were you really just going to be resentful and not say anything? Aaron...I don't like that I hurt you."

[creeksidealtarboy]

"Yeah, I was," he says, shaking his head. "That's what I do, man. I created a whole fucking different personality rather than tell people what happened or - I don't know - defend myself?"

He folds his hands in his lap. "And how I do fucking know that you don't like it? You didn't say a goddamn thing about it." He's not angry as he says it. It's matter of fact. Just a statement.

[threedontknows]

"You didn't say you were hurt." Because angry and hurt are different, but Nie Huaisang automatically sees what a horrible argument that would make.

"I guess you couldn't know. I love you, I don't want to see you in pain."

[creeksidealtarboy]

Aaron laughs. "I get angry because I'm hurt," he says softly. "And you know that about me. I know that you do." He leans back on the bed and reaches out for him. "Lay down with me for a bit?"